The Writers Block

The other day at CrossFit East Sacramento we had difficult warm up and WOD.   The warm up included the usual stretches, plus 5x 200m runs broken up by various drills (inch worm, high kicks, Sampson, etc.)  I timed my 200m runs just to see my run rate; I went 40, 42, 54, didn’t time one and ended up with a 43 for the final run.  My goal would be to run a sub 7 minute mile, so I’m getting there. Then 10 pullups, 10 push ups and 15 ghd situps.  Next we did 10 50m sled pushes with 90#.  We did one push up to the 50m cone, our partner pushed back while the other person walked back.  Then back again. It was tough.

I was beat up before we even got to the WOD.  Which was 5 pullups, 5 pushups, and 10 air squats max rounds for 8 minutes.  Like a mini-Cindy.  Now this WOD plays to all my strengths (such as they are): upper body.  I would expect to get at least 10, maybe 12 rounds.

I settled for 8.  Which pretty much sums it up.  I just could not get motivated.  The sled pull apparently broke my resolve.  My first round took about 44 seconds.  Little by little I slowed down, and I have to say I just didn’t care enough to go faster.  Towards the end I actually slowed down to avoid another round.

Given the WOD had no safety issues to speak of, and pullups and pushups are something I do regularly and well, I should have gone all out.  What’s the hold up I ask myself?  Well I think I just didn’t want to put up with failing.  Which is another way of saying I lowered the intensity because I was mentally exhausted.

But that would have been the time to break through.  A golden opportunity.  But if you don’t give yourself permission to fail, you’re not giving yourself permission to succeed.

Cheers.

Yoda once intoned, “judge me by my size do you?”  Well, yes, sort of.

When I first got involved with crossfit, I remarked to a friend of mine that I had to set my expectations correctly, because I am a not a very big guy.  She agreed, and told me it was something I needed to realize. Well I wasn’t sure we meant it the same way.  Ah well.

Interestingly enough, I don’t actually think of myself as small.  I can, after all, hold a tea cup with one hand.  My feet reach the ground when I’m on the toilet.  More importantly, I simply don’t think of myself as small.  Of course the way I scale the WODs tells a somewhat different tale, as I’m usually on the lighter side of the women’s Rx.  And from time-to-time I’m reminded that I will need to “put on more lean muscle” if I want to improve my crossfit game.

I had read that Chris Spealler, an incredible crossfit athelete, has chosen to gain weight so he can compete better.  I can understand that, given his desire to compete professionally.  But I am still not convinced crossfit is a game of big vs. small. I’ve seen huge guys to 110 burpees in 7 minutes, and I’ve seen those same athletes being outperformed at lifting by much smaller athletes.  It happens all the time.

In any case my job is to maximize what I have to work with, and improve it.

For me, crossfit is all about maximizing fitness.  As for my capacity to enjoy life, that’s not correlated with size.  Some things, after all, are about belief.

Cheers.

Crossfit has created a set of standard workouts (“WODS”) named after women.  Helen is one of them.  Helen consists of 3x 400m run, 21 kettlebell swings, and 12 pullups.  I was under the impression that the Rx for the kettlebell was 35lbs, but it turns out to be “1.5 pood” — 55lbs!  So I haven’t been Rx-ing Helen after all. Just one more thing to get mad about I guess.

Anyway back to my main point. On January 2nd I did Helen in 13:48.  It was tough.  The better athletes have sub-10 minute times.  But I told myself give it couple of months and I’ll try again. So I did.  I put everything I had into it.  At the end I could hardly stand up; laying down wasn’t much help either.  I had to wait several minutes before I could drive.

The result?

A total time of 13:25.  All that suffering for a 23 second improvement?  I stopped only once, to tie my shoe.  The kb swings were unbroken, I did the pullups in sets with two breaths between sets.  I ran all out.  I figured I’d be in the 12 minute range for sure.  What happened?

Helen consists of 3x 400m runs, and 97 movements (61 kb swings, 36 pullups.)  Assuming 3 seconds per movement, adjusted to 300 seconds, we get 5 minutes for the movements.  If we figure 2 minutes per run for 6 minutes total run time, we’re up to 11 minutes total.  I can run the 400m in 1:40, so 2 minutes is a fair estimation of the average — so 6 minutes is a good run time.  If that is the case it took me 7:25 to do 97 movements, or 7.47 seconds per movement.  What the heck happened to 3 seconds?  I’m way off that mark.

What this tells me is I need stricter controls. I was working alone, and my timer was a small plastic alarm clock with a second hand.  I set it on the hour when I started to simplify things,  but that’s not enough. I need a stopwatch.  More importantly, I need somebody to note each iteration of 400m, kb swing and pullup.  I need t see where I’m losing time.  I suppose I could break it apart and manage it in pieces by myself, but I think having someone to help me keep pace is going to work better in the long run.  We’ll see.

Cheers.

A few days ago one of the guys at CFES revealed he has some severe health problems: Celiac Disease, Hashimoto’s and Auto Immune Hepatitis.  Celiac is an allergy to wheat gluten.  Hashimoto’s is  a thyroid condition and Auto Immune Hepatitis is a liver condition. I had to look online to find this out, because I was not familiar with any of those diseases.  He’s lived with these problems for almost 20 years.

He manages to control the symptoms by adhering to a strict diet, and Crossfit.  My own experiences with controlling diet lead me to believe it’s a difficult thing to do.  Not to mention crossfit, which has it’s own requirements for discipline. He described the situation on the CFES blog, and I noticed a lot of people (myself included) used the word “inspiring” to describe his story.

It occurred to me afterwards that I did not recall ever actually being inspired by anybody.  Now that’s a very surprising thing to discover.  I recall being envious, or ambitious enough to want success, or curious about how other people got on, but never inspired.  At least not as an adult.  As a child I remember thinking various famous people were really interesting and had marvelous adventures.  I remember wanting to be an astronaut.  I had some notion that it was heroic.  I’m certain that I had no idea at that time what a hero was.  These days I think a hero is somehow who meets life’s challenges without rancor or bitterness.

I once attended a seminar called “Dynamic Leadership” run by two incredibly strong and compassionate men.  Among other things they had been hostage negotiators, and law enforcement professionals.  At one point one of them told a story that really impressed me, the lesson of which was “just say thanks.”  That is perhaps among the best pieces of advice I ever got.

I suppose I am inspired to take better care of myself, and be respectful of people, when I see how hard other people work at living.  As I’ve gotten past my first 1/2 century of life,  I do notice the desire to invest a bit more of myself in my own life.  Perhaps one day I will find myself interesting!

Today is Sunday.  I did Helen (400m run, 21 35# kettlebells swings, 12 pullups, 3 rounds.) My total time was 13:25.  It is an improvement of 23 seconds since the last time.

Cheers.

This week the CFES foundations class had 2 WODs that involve running, and I happened to be at both of them.  The one from the other day involved 2 rounds of 200m-400m-600m runs, then a 6 round tabata of  burpees, pullups, dumbbell clean and jerk, knees to bars.

One of the athletes working out that day was from the Level 1 classes.  I worked out along side her.  It was interesting to note that she was working quite a bit harder.  I outweigh her by 40 pounds, but she outran me, did more burpees, pullups, knees to bars and used heavier dumbells (15# vs. 25#.)

I had scaled the dumbells so I could get more reps, but I didn’t get more then she did.  But none of that really bothered me.  What I noticed was that she was got more out of herself.  She was really working.

I mentioned intensity to her, and she told me that it was often the case that she was near exhaustion and nausea during the WODs. She was rather surprised that I didn’t have that same feeling.

And there I am thinking, why can’t I get there.  I’m getting about 75% of a workout, she gets 99%.  Now during that workout my shoulder gave out during burpees, but that is no excuse.  That particular problem only bothers me when I do burpees.

Well the next WOD I was at we did 10x 200 sprints, and double-unders in the remaining time.  My sprints were good; I could feel myself willing to move faster.  And somehow that is the secret: to be willing to move faster. 

But the biggest thing: don’t scale and sacrifice intensity.  Scale to increase the opportunity for intensity.  Run faster.  And next time position the jump-rope closer to the finish line.

Cheers.

So today we had 10 1 minute 200m sprints with max double-unders for the remaining time.  It takes me about 45  seconds to run 200m, so I had precious little time to get to the rope.  My best effort was 3, and I had a few zeros.  My total was 14.  When I got to the board, I noticed someone had 81.  I thought oh good grief where do these people come from!  Get outta here!  The humiliation never stops.

But I figured that if I did 8 double-unders per round I’d have 81 too.  I’m not that good at double-unders (Chris Spealler of CrossFit Park City demonstrates in the video). So if I improve my running time to 35 seconds, get set up properly, I might be able to do 80. Of course I’d have to get better at double-unders too.

Anyway it was a good set of sprints.

For me crossfit tends to be something of an obsession.  Lots of people can make that same claim, so I’m not unique.  But (for better or worse) I also tend to see patterns and connections to things that at first glance seem far removed from each other.

The other day I read “The Book That Drove Them Crazy“, a review of a book called “The Closing of the American Mind: How Higher Education Has Failed Democracy and Impoverished the Souls of Today’s Students.”  I have not read Bloom’s book, but I have read Robert Bork’s “Slouching Towards Gomorrah” and I suspect it’s the same kind of message. At the time I read Bork’s book, I didn’t find much to agree with.

Crossfit requires a huge amount of mental discipline.  The whole concept of crossfit is based on intensity; it’s painful, so it takes a bit of work just to give oneself permission to endure it.  For me there is also quite a bit of emotional energy, various attachments to ego, self-worth, self-perception.

Opening oneself up to the kind of self-analysis that promotes success in the physical arts is the same thing required for success in the “intellectual arts.”  One of the most important classes I had in college (one of two, to be honest) was Drama 101: Theater Appreciation.  I had never actually seen a play, much less done any acting.  Getting up in front of people and reciting Thomas More’s final monologue in “A Man for All Seasons” was frightening.  Crossfit has that same impact on me, and that very same appeal that I get from writing plays.

Developing the intellect requires the disciplines of self-awareness and self-analysis.  Just like crossfit.  What I’m finding is that the harder I work at crossfit, the more patience and perseverance I have in other parts of my life.

I really do need to re-read Robert Bork.

Cheers.