I confess my workouts had always been missing something. I could see it in other athletes, so I knew it existed. But I didn’t have a name for it. Some kind of resolve that gets them one more rep. You can see on their faces, that moment when they force themselves to go beyond their current limit. Some kind of in-the-moment determination that I didn’t seem to have. I just don’t push myself hard enough. Always holding something back.
12.5 was different though. I had gained quite a bit of insight from the previous four weeks. Aside from a poor showing during 12.4 (150 wall balls, 90 double unders, 30 muscle ups) I had met my targets. I knew a bit more about pacing, timing, how to get positioned. So going into it I was better prepared then before. I was still really, really nervous, but I felt better mentally.
I’m in the masters division so my workout was 90# thrusters and chest-to-bar pullups (3-3, 6-6, 9-9 and so on) in 7 minutes. A lot of weight for me to move. My goal was to get to the nines.
The guy judging me was Rob Dougherty, a fine athlete and a great guy. He was the brains behind the effort. He helped me with the pacing, got me motivated, coached me on form. He know where I was at (even if I didn’t). I put my hands on the bar, postioned them, got the bar up to my chest, got it braced, tried to keep my elbows out, then down and up.
At some point, probably 2 minutes in, time started to stand still. It took longer and longer to get set up, and get the bar up and down. I could feel the strength leaving. And that’s where something else kicked in. A little voice saying “keep going. one more.”
I really had to dig down deep to get that last set of thrusters, and the last set of C2B. And then finally done with nines. A few seconds left on the clock. I remember making some hand motion to indicate that I was finished. Rob said no. You have to done one more.
So I did one more. Somewhere in that WOD I learned how to go past the point of no return, just a little bit further then failure. I still don’t have a word for it. But I know how it feels. I felt it the following regular workout too — push ups, kb snatches, and situps — I could feel a bit more will to continue. I actually felt like I was summoning it up. I hope I can keep that feeling.
Cheers.
