Today we did\u00a0dead lifts\u00a0as part of the\u00a0warm-up. \u00a0When I first started crossfit I was afraid of deadlifts; as in so scared I would cross to the other side of the street. \u00a0But at some point (I really don’t recall when) I did 135#. \u00a0Then shortly after I did 165#. \u00a0A couple of months later I was balking at 175# and the trainer (TC) stopped what he was doing, came across the gym to where I was standing, and said “you have to to this.” He said this in such a way as to make me understand that I did indeed need to do that.<\/p>\n
So I did. Lifted it right up. \u00a0Eventually I got up to 215# which is where I’m currently stalled out at. \u00a0I’m backing off a bit, down to 195# so I can get the form 100% correct. \u00a0But sooner or later, that 220# bar is going to have to come off the floor. \u00a0Otherwise I can’t get to 300#. But that moment when I did that 175# was an\u00a0important\u00a0moment for me.<\/p>\n
Now here’s the hard part: not being able to move those heavier\u00a0weights\u00a0is\u00a0embarrassing, because I see lots of other\u00a0athletes who can easily pick up much more weight then what I’m struggling with. \u00a0About a dozen of them are women. \u00a0I see their names on the whiteboard. So you can add gender bias to the mix of emotions at my Crossfit workout. It takes about all the discipline I have not to be jealous, or angry, or spiteful or just generally cranky about that.<\/p>\n
Add that to the fact that even though I know I’m getting stronger, I’m not even close to where I’d like to be. \u00a0I do a 15 minute workout and there are several people at 10 or 11 minutes for that same workout. \u00a0I think I need to work harder.<\/p>\n
I also think that ego is not the right trainer. \u00a0Leaving nothing on the table during a workout does not mean being stupid, or greedy. \u00a0There are always going to be\u00a0athletes\u00a0who are stronger then me. \u00a0Somewhere in all of this there is a lesson about patience, resolve, and\u00a0discipline. \u00a0Just right now I’m not sure what it is. \u00a0I’ll be at the box\u00a0tomorrow\u00a0and maybe I’ll find out.<\/p>\n
Cheers.
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